


Little Lies We Tell Ourselves

by wewriteletters



Series: Something Different [1]
Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/M, Pining, Realization of Feelings, cannon who is she?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 02:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17889926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wewriteletters/pseuds/wewriteletters
Summary: Claire Browne doesn’t love Shaun Murphy. At least that’s what she tells herself.





	Little Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> Well I'm back! Since season 2 has been horrible in terms of shaire content, I thought I'd pull out some of my old WIPS, polish them up, and post them. These two were started around early February of last year. Please keep that in mind when reading; I didn't want to edit them too much, but I am aware of how Shaun's relationship with Lea and Claire's relationship with Jared actually developed in the show now. But since fics are about bending (and sometimes ignoring) cannon I'm fine with my interpretation. Just a fair warning, if you are a passionate Shaun/Lea shipper or Claire/Jared shipper, this might not be the fic for you. Anyway, this authors note is getting longer than the actual stories so here you go, hope everyone enjoys!

Claire Browne doesn’t love Shaun Murphy. At least that’s what she tells herself.

She tells herself that everyday. When she’s making coffee in the break room and Shaun wrinkles his nose because as much as he hates the drink itself, he hates the smell more. When the two of them are working and she has to hide a laugh because Shaun made some completely ernest comment about an error Melendez made. When they are eating together in the cafeteria and Shaun eagerly explains some concept he had been reading about to her and the only thing she can focus on is how Shaun’s eyes simply light up when he is speaking of something with such passion. 

And Claire makes that point especially firm to herself when it’s late at night, and the only thing she can think about is Shaun, the first day they meet.

Claire doesn’t know everything. But she does know she doesn’t love Shaun.

Or that’s what she tells herself.

But now it’s three in the morning and Claire has to wake up in two hours to get ready for her shift but the only thing in her mind is Shaun, standing in front of her, hands clasped, soaked from the rain, asking, begging, for them to perform an echo. 

‘And of course his idea was right,’ she thinks. He’s always right. 

She turns over to her side, as if moving around will shake the memories from her head. It doesn't work; Shaun is still there. If she reaches out, maybe she can feel the water dripping from his hair. 

No. She whispers the word to herself. No. Get a hold of yourself Claire.

Before she moved to San Jose to begin her residency, Claire had promised herself one thing: no romantic relationships. It was a dangerous game to play when one was so close to achieving what they wanted more than anything. There can be no distractions. 

She could have sleep with Jared in the on call room, sure. But nothing more than that. No dates, no flowers, no relationships that go beyond purely physical attraction. And certainly no love.

Which was precisely why she knew she wasn’t in love with Shaun. She had rules.

So why was she still thinking about him? 

Claire curls into herself and watches the numbers on her digital clock flip from 3:04 to 3:36 to 4:00. She has to get up soon. She’ll need an extra cup of coffee to get through the morning, she can already tell.

Shaun wrinkling his nose. He hates coffee.

Sighing, Claire turns over onto her back and glared at the ceiling, as if the plaster would provide her with some insights on her feelings. 

The ceiling doesn’t respond.

‘Okay so you have a crush’, Claire tells herself. ‘You have had dozens of crushes and none of them ever meant anything. Now you have a crush on Shaun and it doesn’t mean anything.’

Than why did it feel so different with Shaun? Her feelings for Jared had all seemed so simple. She liked him, she probably even had a crush on him at one point even. She just didn’t think she loved him. There was nothing more than a desire for someone else, someone else who understood the stress she was under. 

With Shaun...there was more. She wants him to speak about her with the same spark of joy and happiness he has when he talks about medicine. She wants to see Shaun outside of work everyday. She wants to have breakfast dates with him. She wants to call him her boyfriend. 

She wants him to love her too.

But that was stupid. And Claire isn’t stupid.

Shaun has never given any indication of any feelings beyond friendship. And that’s okay, she tells herself. That’s okay because if he doesn’t have feelings for me than I don’t have feelings for him. Because there is no point to that. 

The alarm goes off and brings her back to reality. Shaun isn’t standing in the rain anymore. She is just alone. 

So Claire gets up and puts on her blouse and slacks and grabs her phone and keys and heads off to the hospital, ready for a day full of rounds, sutures, surgery, and reminders. 

Reminders that she doesn’t love Shaun Murphy.

At least that’s what she tells herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
